Ten Thousand Flowers
by Calculated Spontaneity
Summary: Hua Minyah is the golden girl of Athan nobility - practically "perfect" in every way. So naturally, when an ancient faction resurfaces in the Athan court and Minyah is offered as a diplomatic gift, it seems things can only bid well. But as Minyah is soon to learn, having the fate of an entire race on her shoulders might not be like anything she's ever done before.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: All I own of this is my storyline and the characters' names and personalities. Everything else is probably owned by Jade Dynasty/Perfect World. Actually, when in doubt, assume everything here is owned by them. Because it probably more or less does and I'm ultimately just a monkey at a typewriter. **

**Anyway, this is my first fic. Please enjoy, or try your best to - and if you had to try, please leave me a review telling me how to get better! Goodness knows I need a couple of good critiques. The only thing worse than a bad writer is a bad writer that doesn't know how to get better. **

* * *

**Prologue**

I remember that ever since I was old enough to see anything, Ruyi had been my closest friend and loyal companion. He had been one of my few playmates in those early days, chasing me almost as often as his own tail. He was my older brother that protected me from bullies, the younger sister that tried to do everything I did. Oh, and he also made quite a nice pillow.

So it'd only make sense that I was nothing short of hysterics when Ruyi had gotten his paw stuck in a rosebush one day.

I was about five when it happened, and we had been playing hide and seek in the garden. I had been on a winning streak, and so he had tried to find a place in which he had never hidden before, which turned out to be inside our rosebush. It had been easier to get into than out of, and by trying to free himself from the bush, he tore open the skin on his paw.

"Mama! Mama where are you?" I had asked, searching the halls of our estate frantically. Ruyi's white fur on his left paw had been dyed a deep claret by then, which to the me was the most frightening thing ever. His usually smooth fur had been mangled and in clumps, and his whining was the most earth-shattering sound and I couldn't bear to hear.

"Mama!"

I turned a corner to find my mother in the study.

"Minyah, what's wrong?"

My mother quickly got up from her chair and glided gracefully towards me. Despite her worried look, she made no excess movements as she brought out a handkerchief - one of her nice embroidered ones - and started wiping at the tears that wouldn't stop coming out of my eyes.

"Ma…Ruyi! Ruyi…he's bleeding!" I managed, my words like hiccups through my tears which were only intensifying after seeing my mother.

"Oh, my…that's terrible! Here," she said, as she bent down slightly to pick me up. "Let's go see what we can do to fix him, shall we?"

"Mama! You can cast a healing spell on him, can't you?" I asked my mother.

My mother looked at me with a soft expression.

"I'm afraid our healing spells won't work on Ruyi," she explained patiently, "because animals' bodies don't work like our bodies do. So we're going to have to heal him the way people did before their powers got strong."

"How did they do that?"

My tears began to subside with the prospect of healing Ruyi, and new knowledge.

"With medicine," said my mother, giving my nose a tweak. And then, over her shoulder, she called to one of her servants.

"Lianhua, here…"

My mother floated back over to her desk, where she picked up her brush and scribbled a few characters onto a slip of paper. Well, not quite scribbled. It was still neat by my standards.

"…can you please take this to the kitchens and ask for these ingredients? The cook knows where they are in the vegetable garden. Oh, and ask for lots of the notoginseng, if you'd please. We'd need a lot of that, and half of it needs to be steamed, the other half raw."

"Yes, Madame," said the maid, as she floated away down the hall.

I stared in wonderment at my mother.

"You know about…medicine?"

The word felt uncomfortable coming out of my mouth.

"Well, I wasn't too good at playing the zither when I was little. So I decided I had to learn to keep up with everybody," answered my mother. "Now, can you show me where Ruyi is?"

She set me down, where I found my way upright about a small dog's height off the floor and stayed there, levitating. Then, gesturing at my mother to follow, I sped through the hallways and into the flower garden, where my poor white tiger was about to give up on trying to escape the rosebush.

"Oh heavens…"

My mother kneeled down, still not touching the ground, but at a low enough level where she had access to the rosebush. Her delicate fingers found the thorns that dug at Ruyi's paw, and deftly pried them away, making sure that he didn't get any splinters in the process.

"Ruyi, these flowers don't like to be touched, you know?" she said to the tiger after she freed him. "They're very shy. So if you try to touch them, they get scared. That's why they have thorns, see?"

Ruyi drew his paw back gingerly, and licked at it in acknowledgement. I stroked his back gently, trying to soothe him. My small hand seemed to get lost in the thickness of his fur.

"Ruyi's still small," said my mother. "When he gets bigger, thorns as small as these will only tickle him."

I looked down at Ruyi, who was already at least twice my size.

"I don't want him to get bigger, Mama!" I said, hugging as much of Ruyi as I could. "Then he would be too big to play hide and seek with me!"

My mother gave me that look that back then I could never figure out. It wasn't condescending in the slightest, but still managed to imply there was something that she knew that I didn't. But it still frustrated me, because I wanted to know what she knew!

"Minyah, but that is the course of nature," she said, her voice once again patient. "Ruyi is a tiger, and his fate is to grow big and strong, so that he could protect those that he loves. And you, as well - one day, you will grow too. Your fate is to grow into a beautiful and worldly lady, so you can protect the ones that you love too."

The look I gave her at that time was skeptical, and made her laugh.

"Ah, perhaps you are still too young to understand," said my mother, as Lianhua floated back in with a tray in her hands. "But one day you will."

"Thank you very much," said my mother to the girl, as the girl curtseyed slightly.

"Would you need anything else, Madame?"

"No, everything's fine for now. I'll call you if I need you," answered my mom as she began to set the tray in a place where she could reach it - it was inconvenient for us, who always floated in midair, to reach for things that were on the floor, after all. Not that it was impossible, just inconvenient.

She at first picked up each individual ingredient to check to see that it had been prepared according to her instructions, and wafted each of the ingredients' scents to her nose to make sure that they were of medicinal quality. Then - to me, it looked like she was cooking - she began to mix certain ingredients together into a bowl, and then started grinding them into a fine, white powder. It seemed amazing to me how roots and leaves of different shades of brown and green could all end up being white, but I had been too fascinated to ask why.

Presently, the medicine was ready, and my mother went over to Ruyi with the bowl, a wet cloth, and a bandage.

She asked for Ruyi's paw, which was proffered with utmost reluctance. She then dabbed away the blood that had been tainting his white fur, and then applied the powder to his wound. And then, ever so carefully, she wrapped the bandage, layer by layer, around his paw.

"There, Ruyi. Don't go playing by the roses again," she said, getting up.

I watched this entire scene in wonderment, at how Ruyi was so magically healed even though it didn't include our magic in the slightest. He had now stopped whining, and was hobbling over underneath a shady tree to take a nap, pretty contented with himself aside from the fact that he had been bleeding profusely just moments ago.

"Mama, will I be able to heal like you one day?" I asked. "Does healing people make them happy?"

"You will," answered my mother, "once you learn how to play your zither well. And then you can make lots of people happy."

"But playing the zither is hard…"

My distaste for the zither would eventually subside, but what never went away was the desire to become a great healer - zither or no zither. From then on, I knew I wanted to make people feel better - happier.


	2. Chapter 1 - The Music Student

**Chapter 1: The Music Student**

Music was purportedly first discovered by a human by the name of Linglun, who was under their emperor's orders to find a set of notes that would be soothing to the ear. Accepting the task readily, he immediately went to the forest and fashioned himself a bamboo pipe, drilled with holes in a straight line vertically. He thought that he would be able to make a sound, and he did. But the sound was so horrible that it would even frighten both the toughest of beasts and the most well-trained of animals. However, he never gave up and kept persevering under the encouragement of the emperor, and eventually, he did find the notes he needed. One day, when he was taking a nap, two phoenixes landed next to him and began to sing, and he found their song to be entrancing and beautiful. But when he tried to tune his primitive flute to the birds, they left. They began frequenting the area more often though, and Linglun, over a period of time, was able to tune twelve flutes to the tones of phoenix song. These tones would become the twelve pitches that musicians are so familiar with as the basis of music.

It's a pity though, that even if a human did discover music, none of them would come to realize its true potential.

Out of the twelve pitches, there are six yin pitches and six yang pitches. Yin pitches were said to have been tuned to the female phoenix, and sound gentle, elegant, and lingering. Yang pitches were likewise tuned to the male phoenix, and are bright, sonorous, and resonant. Yin and yang pitches alternate places on the chromatic scale, and each also have a scale to themselves.

Shadows are considered to be of the yin element. Dark, mysterious, and unknown, they are the absolute embodiment of the enigma of yin, which hides the truth. However, when placed under the light and wisdom of yang, what was once hidden can be easily found.

In my case, a barrage of yang notes would have to do.

My fingers flew across the strings, guiding the melody to a fervent accelerando, which ended abruptly at a trill and then fell to silence, for I was now listening for my sound's return. Yang notes were especially good for this because of their resounding quality.

"Yelian, you're behind the giant vase. Now come on out, I know you're there."

My ears flicked towards the sound of footsteps to the left of me.

"Take off the invisibility, Yelian. I know you're there."

I was suddenly looking at my own reflection in the business end of a scythe.

"And I know you Celans have good ears," said Yelian, withdrawing the scythe and sliding it into place onto the harness behind her back. "But still not good enough."

"Did you learn a new skill today?" I asked, as Yelian sat down cross-legged beside my zither, and helped herself to the tea I had on a table.

"How to redirect your own sounds in another direction, to avoid detection," said Yelian, "Haven't I told you this before? I've been trying for about a month to master this skill. You should've seen the look on Miao's face when she couldn't find me! Hahaha, I swear she thought I had something wrong up here" - she tapped on her head for emphasis - "for a long while now."

"Why don't I find that surprising," I said, in a singsong voice. Yelian stuck her tongue out at me, and then downed the rest of her tea.

"Well, you would have died had I not been feeling merciful today, so be thankful," she grumbled, running a finger over the blade of one of her scythes. "I need to sharpen this one."

Yelian and I have been on close relations, ever since we heard about each other. At first, we hated each other because our parents had kept comparing us to each other in private - Yelian had been one of the more expert warriors for our age, a trait which I then lacked. My mannerisms were more genteel and cordial, a trait which she then lacked. Back then, whenever I made a mistake during training, my parents would sigh, and say "Why can't you be like Yelian?" And back when Yelian would make a mistake in her social graces, her parents would put their hands to their foreheads disappointedly, and lament, "Why can't you be more like Minyah?" But we ended up bonding at an Arden general's seventieth birthday party when we were both around eight, finding out that both of us would prefer sitting outside to sitting inside and letting our mouths run on idle chatter.

It was odd how close we were since we were so drastically different - she was a Rayan who descended from a long line of master assassins, while my Celan ancestors played around with musical notes and arrangements. She was outgoing and frank while I was more reserved and indirect. She liked the exciting, the risky, the unknown while I far preferred my comfort zone. Even I'll admit it's weird how we managed to click, but there would be nobody among the children of the nobility that didn't know about how close Yelian and Minyah were. Nobody would dare bully me when I was little because they wouldn't want to draw Yelian's wrath, and nobody would dare criticize Yelian because of my good standing with all their parents, and one complaint from me would send them into a month of grounding.

"So, what were you up to?" asked Yelian. "You don't usually practice at this time."

"I had been expecting Tsanyi," I told her. "There's a new song I wanted him to help me with."

"Oh God, I swear…what's taking them so long? It's so obvious that you guys are going to be set up with each other eventually, why don't they just do it already?" asked Yelian, running a hand cavalierly through her hair.

"I don't know, but knock on wood. I'd like my freedom for a little longer," I said, sliding my finger silently across a string.

"Any longer and you'd both look like dried apricots," said Yelian, sniffing indignantly,

"Oh shut up. Who's to say I'd look like a dried apricot? I'll age gracefully like fine wine," I said, trying to change the subject. "See, my skin's nice! I've been trying a different herb wash."

"But Minyah," said Yelian, thickly ignoring my subtle attempt. "You're seventeen, going on eighteen. Girls we both know that are younger than you are getting wedded off by the second. Don't you start feeling like an old spinster?"

"Honestly, Yelian - I thought you'd know me better," I said. "Frankly, I don't care for marriage. Or love. I don't have the time for that. And I'd feel bad if someone who did ended up with an emotionless rock like me."

"The fact that you feel bad shows you're not an emotionless rock," said Yelian pointedly. "Plus, Minyah - you only know too well. People in our social class never marry for love anyway. Everyone's pretty much accepted that already, so why do you care?"

"You know what, Yelian, you're not betrothed either," I finally realized. "Who are you to say anything?"

"Aha, there you go again taking things so seriously," said Yelian, laughing and clapping her hands. "I wondered how long it would take you to notice that I was only playing devil's advocate again. Of course I wouldn't make you do something that I have no intention of doing either, Minyah - I thought _you_ of all people would know that the best. Plus, it's pretty much a given that you and Tsanyi would end up together anyway, so what's the point of rushing it?"

She picked a grape off of the platter that I had sitting next to me, and popped it into her mouth.

"Anyway, I should be going now. Don't wanna be a third wheel for you two," she said, and then vanished into the hallway, probably invisible again.

I didn't stop her for two reasons - not because I would feel uncomfortable with her around, not in the least. But it was no secret that Yelian didn't care for Tsanyi as a person herself - she would begrudgingly acknowledge him as my future husband, but in her _most humble_ opinion she found him to be too bookish. Plus, music theory would only bore Yelian - although she appreciated good music, she found the details of its making to be uninteresting. She would be much happier out in the training arena dueling or hacking away at mannequins. I shouldn't keep her.

I unfurled the book of music and flipped to the right page, scrutinizing the words carefully. I had wanted to go for a slower tempo than intended at this part, but for some reason it always felt like I was rushing the individual notes.

Zither music stresses relative timing over absolute timing - there was no absolute timing element in it like most other instruments, partly because it was made to be so soloistic. Timing, for zitherists, would only limit their expressiveness. A basic beat would be established as a motif, but the zitherist herself would be free to give her own take to this motif.

The composer had intended for the piece to sound like rain, while I far preferred the slow drops of morning dew. However in terms of execution I ended up sounding like a hailstorm, which was frustrating me to no end. Hopefully Tsanyi knew what to do.

"Miss Minyah, you have a guest," said my personal servant, Ruizhu, stepping into my room with a small curtsy.

She held open the curtain that separated my room from the hallway outside, and in glided Zhao Tsanyi, with a smile on his face and a wrapped package in his hands. He thanked Ruizhu, and then set his package down on the table.

"Thank you, Ruizhu," I said, getting up from my seat. My zither instantly took its place, levitating with me about a hand's length away from my back. "Could you leave us alone for a bit? I'll call for you if you need anything."

"Yes, Miss Minyah," said Ruizhu, who turned and exited the room, her tail swinging behind her. Tsanyi looked after it amusedly, like a little child.

"I wish I was an Arden sometimes," he said offhandedly. "Having a tail seems so convenient."

"Cleaning your ears would be easier too," I added reflexively, "if you had big, fluffy ears."

Tsanyi directed his curious stare to me, and then chuckled and shook his head.

"Yes, Minyah, I suppose it would."

I motioned for Tsanyi to take a seat at my table, and then picked up the package, feeling its weight in my hands. It was heavy enough for its size, and had loose pieces - I could tell. There were dull thuds when I shook it.

"What is this?" I asked, setting the package down and taking a seat.

"A present," said Tsanyi laconically, tapping out an absentminded beat on the table.

"What kind of present?" I asked.

"Something you can eat," he said.

"Is it something sweet?" I asked again.

"Depends. How sweet?"

"As sweet as honey?"

"Not so sweet," he said, without skipping a beat.

"Then as sweet as a chili pepper?"

"…No," he answered, with a quizzical glance in my general direction.

"Is it baked?" I asked again, now getting a general idea of what this present might entail. Tsanyi knew it too - his refusal to look me directly in the eye showed that I was getting close.

"Baked...with water," he said.

"Steamed...boiled? Boiled!" I said excitedly. "You went to town again, didn't you? These are candied hawthorns, aren't they?"

"What else could they be?" Tsanyi answered with a smile. "You love these things to death."

"I've been trying to get Ruizhu to sneak me a few," I said, toying with a ring on my index finger. "But nobody wants a noble lady like me to get close so such low-class sweets."

Because of my noble birth, I was rarely allowed to set foot out of the Hua estate. A proper lady never went outdoors for anything - she never needed to. Everything she needed would and should come to her, and she should stay enclosed within the four walls of her dwelling as much as possible, for that was the role of a proper lady. However, a proper gentleman like Tsanyi had a bit more freedom, and as we both aged and I was allowed to leave the house less and less, he became my only connection to the outside world. Every time he came, he had something new to show or tell me, and a couple of weeks ago he had introduced me to the street food that the common people ate, which of course, entertained my taste buds greatly. But after seeing me wolf down everything he brought me that time, Tsanyi had decided that from then on I should only receive this delicious food sparingly, as he insists that I'll get fat if I keep eating like that.

"Moderation, Minyah," said Tsanyi. "They're probably right in not letting you get close to these."

"But I have seventeen years of my life, Tsanyi," I said. "Seventeen years without candied haws should be enough for me to start pigging out now."

"Alright, I get it. I'll let you eat first and then we can work on that song you wanted," he said, seeing that he probably wasn't going to get anywhere if he stopped me. I immediately reached for the knot that kept the package in its bag and after much effort, unwrapped my edible present. Tsanyi watched me contentedly as I gave him a demonstration of my worst table manners, not quite savoring the flavor as I should but instead stuffing my face.

"Minyah...your lip stain. It's coming off," said Tsanyi, putting out a hand to stop the candied haws from reaching my mouth.

"Oh...no," I said, setting the stick of sugary fruits down. "Is it bad? My mom would kill me if she knew that I let you in here while I was indecent."

"It's what you get for eating so fast," he chided. "Here, turn your head. I'll get it for you."

"Honestly, Tsanyi - I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes," I said as I turned to allow his slender index finger to graze the edge of my bottom lip. "You're like the fairy godmother that Fuxi forgot to give me."

"I think I'd prefer to know you like this instead," said Tsanyi, his voice suddenly diminishing to a soft piano. But when he noticed me examining him out of the corner of his eye, he quickly perked back up and added, "I don't think I can imagine the things your poor fairy godmother would have to go through."

I stared him down, mid-chew, as I set an empty skewer down back on its plate.

"I don't think I'm _that_ high maintenance," I said sheepishly. "I mean, I do like new clothes and things...and maybe some new strings from time to time...but for the most part if you buy me food, I'll be fine. I don't need any of the fancy baubles the other girls need."

"Yet you wear so many of them," said Tsanyi, pointing at my neck, where two strings of beads and a locket dangled.

"Hey, those were presents," I said defensively. "It'd be rude to let them just sit and collect dust."

"But it's not like anyone's going to _remember_ that they gave you that specific trinket unless you tell them," Tsanyi refuted, helping himself to a cup of tea.

"Tsk, tsk," I regarded him with a look of arch disapproval, "says the person who's never been a girl before. How would you know?"

"I don't remember anything I've given you," said Tsanyi nonchalantly, picking at his cuticles.

"Liar," I shot back, smirking.

"How would _you_ know? You've never been a guy before."

Wordlessly, I got up. I was going to make him eat crow, and he knew it. If he didn't know it now, he will pretty soon. Judging by the puzzled stare I felt about my shoulders and the silence behind me, Tsanyi knew that I had something up my sleeve that he'd best be prepared for, and was now trying to read my mind through the nape of my neck. Unfortunately that probably wouldn't work so well for him as I took a seat in front of my dresser.

The entire process had been something completely normal-seeming - just a woman going to fix her lip color after a small eating mishap. But to someone who knew me as well as Tsanyi it was about as unnerving as the lightning flash which harbingered the eardrum-shattering clap of thunder. Smiling to myself, I dabbed a bit of lip stain back onto my lower lip, and then reached into my jewelry box for a few choice ornaments.

"Aha, so I've been told that I need to stop wearing you guys, huh?" I said to the handful of necklaces and rings I've gathered in my fist. "I suppose I should just get Ruizhu to pawn you guys off. I could use the extra pocket money..."

Tsanyi turned at the sound of jingling and then did a double take.

"Not the ruby pendant!" he pleaded, and then caught his mistake.

"Ah, why not?" I asked. "Does this pendant mean anything to you?"

I stared at Tsanyi, who seemed at a loss for words. His eyes stared at me in mild disbelief, while I reciprocated with a slightly smug look of confidence.

"Why yes, it does. It was the first present I ever gave to any of my friends, and the friend that I gave it to would always wear it around her neck because her parents told her that it was an amulet that would protect her from the dark. Which, I might add, she was dreadfully afraid of," said Tsanyi in one long breath. "Isn't that right, _Minyah_?"

He was trying to distract me from my purpose - this I could see. Ah well. I was going to have to let him have his two seconds of glory - after all, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

"Why yes, Tsanyi. A perfectly normal fear for a poor little girl like me to have," I sighed melodramatically for effect. "But you do recognize this necklace, don't you?"

Our eyes met, and for a moment Tsanyi looked almost off guard - dazed. But before I could figure out what had intrigued his mind so much, he swallowed and took refuge behind a grimace.

"Fine, you win this time," he said, holding up his hands in defeat. "But I can't believe you would throw away something that holds so many memories for you."

"I wasn't going to," I answered. "Tsanyi, you know me better. I've never thrown away anything you've given to me. Well, anything imperishable."

"Or anything _inedible_," said Tsanyi, looking down at the now-empty plate on the center of the table.

"That too," I said, as I glided over to my dresser once again to put all the jewels back in their box. My hands hesitated before setting down the ruby pendant. It was one of the few red accessories that I owned, since I typically preferred softer pastel colors. I could see my own reflection in its transparent shade of vermillion, and surprised myself with the nostalgia and melancholy that saturated my features.

"Is something wrong?"

Tsanyi's voice pulled me back to reality before I could get completely lost in my own complexion.

"Nothing...it's just...memories, y'know?"

I quickly replaced the necklace and went back to join Tsanyi at the table.

"I'm going to buy you a new chain for the pendant one of these days," declared Tsanyi. "It's too bad that the chain grew too short for you. Then you can wear it every day again, like you used to."

"Yeah, that would be nice," I said, trying to sound as enthused as I possibly could.

"You know what - what did you want me over here for again?" asked Tsanyi. "The food is all gone now, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah! Come here, have a look at this song for me."

I ordered my zither to settle down on its stand, which it did, being more magical than not.

"The music for it is in that book," I said, pointing at the book I had been scrutinizing earlier.

Tsanyi flipped open the book and commanded his zither to float up underneath his outstretched right hand, where he sight read a few lines of the song, plucking at the strings tentatively, but at a constant tempo.

"Is it this part with the funky beat?" he said, replicating the rhythms verbatim off of the tablature.

"Yes, exactly that part!" I said. "I can't get it to sound right at all."

"Well, you're supposed to flip the beat right here," he said, pointing at a part in the tablature. "See, you start on the upbeat and then switch back right here, and then go back."

A bit confused, I went and sat back down near my zither, and rattled off my interpretation of the tablature for Tsanyi to troubleshoot.

"Whoa, whoa...Minyah, that's at least twice as fast as it's supposed to go," said Tsanyi, eyebrows slightly raised.

"I don't know, Tsanyi. It...just turns out like every time," I said, unsure of myself.

Tsanyi flipped his zither up behind his back, as was customary, and then kneeled down next to me.

"Play it again," he said gently.

I inhaled deeply, and then tried to calm my fingers to slow the tempo down to its proper range. But as I tried to play, my fingers began freezing up. I was almost done with the section when my nail accidentally got caught on one of the strings, creating a disgusting "twang" that hung in midair, a strident sound that will never be resolved.

But before I could apologize for the discord, Tsanyi reached for my left hand and took it in both of his.

"Are you okay?" he asked, delicately examining each of my fingers. "You didn't trim your nails again, did you?"

"I forgot," I said bashfully, feeling his warm breath against my cheek. He had gotten that near to me, but I didn't mind. It wasn't uncomfortable at all, which was only proof of how close we had gotten over the course of seventeen years.

"Minyah, you have to be careful," he said, poking at my forearm. "And also look at this - you're so tense. All your muscles over here are all strained. Relax a little more. Otherwise you won't be able to play these right. The more relaxed you are..."

"...the faster you can go. I know."

Tsanyi and I had been instructed in music by the same teacher, but out of the pair of us, Tsanyi had been the faster to advance from lesson book to lesson book to lesson book. When most Celans would only complete one volume of music in about a year, Tsanyi over there would master two or three, plus some extra theory work. So as a result, he has always been a music tutor for me as well, and he still is, despite my being now at a level where I can perform and improvise on the spot in public for the Emperor and his court on demand.

"Slow it down first," he suggested. "Make sure you hit the right upbeats. Don't worry about your expression yet."

I took a deep breath and began tapping out the rhythm with my fingers about my collarbone, letting the taps reverberate throughout my ribcage. It looks extremely odd to onlookers, but it helps me feel the beat more than anything else. Tsanyi, of course, is accustomed to it already; however he himself prefers to tap on his legs like a normal person.

"Minyah, this isn't something you can do silently, you know," he suggested. "I know how much you hate it, but you're going to have to count."

"Can't you count for me then? I can't focus on that there and this here at the same time."

"I always count for you. What exactly are you going to do then, if one day I just up and disappeared?" asked Tsanyi disapprovingly. "How will you count?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I get there," I told him, "if I get there. Hopefully I won't have to."

But he and I both knew well that his question could only have been a rhetorical question - there was no answer needed, seeing as how before Zhao Tsanyi and Hua Minyah were even mere thoughts in our respective parents' minds, the Zhao family and the Hua family have been incredibly close. Tsanyi's paternal grandfather had once saved my own paternal grandfather's life, and they have been close ever since to the point of making each other blood brothers. However, that wasn't enough for them, so they vowed to have their children marry each other so they can be truly joined as family. Unfortunately, all either of them ever had were sons - Tsanyi has five uncles, I myself have four. By that time, both our grandparents had decided that neither of them was fated to have any daughters, and so had to be content with the fact that our families were close, but however still two separate families - which didn't horribly upset them. But when I, the first Hua granddaughter, was born, my grandfather's desire to unite Zhao and Hua reignited, and since before I could remember I had known Tsanyi, the eldest of all the Zhao grandsons.

To the elders, this would be a match made in heaven in every way possible. Zhao and Hua were two Celan households both alike in dignity, power, and wealth - and connecting the two would only make both stronger. For my side, Tsanyi was an ideal husband. He had an upbringing that could rival my own, was well educated and incredibly intelligent, and had the looks to back it all up. Personality-wise, he was wonderfully easygoing and open-minded, but had a quiet authority also that I admired. Knowing that the person I eventually would marry was him had taken the worry of finding a suitable partner out of my mind entirely, and I never needed to concern myself with the whole "falling in love, falling out of love" thing that many other girls my age constantly bothered themselves with - which was a good thing, I thought. Not having to worry about love gave me the freedom to worry about more important things, like music.

"Oh come on, Tsanyi. This is slower than molasses going uphill in January."

"Well, get the beat right then," scolded Tsanyi, breaking from his monotonous count of common time. "Also, if you had counted yourself, you wouldn't have to deal with this now, would you?"

Inhaling impatiently, I begrudgingly complied, slowing the beating motion of my hands down to a painful largo. Ears alert for Tsanyi's equally-spaced numbers, I searched for those elusive moments in time-space in which the notes were supposed to fall into place. The sound shook through my torso so that I could feel every time I rushed, every time I was too late, making it all the more frustrating when I missed. The rhythm looped inside my head as I repeated those few measures, trying my best to stay with the music. This was going to take a while. But as with everything else, this was just another part of my overprivileged life, another thing I had to master perfectly but not dare take pride in, another burden I had to bear but never complain about.

However, having Tsanyi with me somehow made the excruciating process a little less…bad.


End file.
